The Mighty Dildo

Image

Using dildos on your passive partner before you indulge in your favourite anal sex positions, which might be quite vanilla anal sex, can be a mind-blowing experience for him and a real exercise in loving control for you, both during anal sex and while you’re wielding the toys.

A big advantage of anal sex toys is that they allow you to concentrate fully on the pleasure you’re giving your partner; you’ve more control, even while watching the dildo or vibrator sliding in and out of his ass is going to be a real turn-on for you. Furthermore, toys start hard and stay hard; there’s no risk they’ll blow their load before your partner’s really satisfied, and they tend to be a lot easier to angle around.

Of course, you can reach for the toys box right when you’re stripping off, but it can be nice to turn him round to stroke, kiss and lick his anus. Let him know again his ass is beautiful. Spend minutes rimming him, kneading his buttocks and reaching beneath to caress his balls and penis. Open his anus with lubricated fingers and feel around inside – you’ll feel when his sphincter muscles tense and when they are relaxed.

The first ‘pop’ as the dildo slips into him can be a beautiful moment for the passive partner. With your regular partner, you’ll know the sort of sizes he likes best and will probably have a selection of his favourite dildos. With a new partner, start with a relatively small dildo and work your way upwards, at each stage stretching his anus a little more. Thrust slowly, rotate the toy and swirl the tip around inside him. Build sensation with rapid, hard thrusts. Vary the ways you thrust so he doesn’t know what’s coming next.

As you work with the dildos, you’ll be sensitising his prostate. He may experience anal orgasm several times before you actually fuck him. If you’re using big dildos, especially toys that are bigger than your penis, there’s no need to worry that it might be something of a come down when it’s your penis you’re using to fuck him; even with the really huge sex toys, you can get him so highly sensitised that your human-sized penis is a perfect fit.

Beyond the physical sensation of being penetrated, a really important aspect of the joy of gay sex for the passive partner is the knowledge that the active man is letting go and spending himself in him. The top can enhance this experience by making it really clear – words, noise, touch – he wants himself inside him. Use a dildo as a prop as well to torment your partner; make him alternate between sucking the dildo and sucking you before you fuck him. And, since you have been using dildos in a very controlled way, focused on his responses, you’ll know you can just do what you want here – which should also please him.

After you’ve come, it’s often great for both of you to lie quietly together. You may want this as you ‘zen’ through your afterglow, and he can feel quietly intimate, safe and connected with you. This can be even better for him when you’ve really worked his arse and given him a lot more anal/prostate sensation that you could through your cock alone.

comments

gay relationships

Types Of Friend To Avoid
Types Of Friend To Avoid

What are "toxic friends" and how to identify them

The Low Down on Bad Boys
The Low Down on Bad Boys

We take a look at the ins and outs of bad boy relationships

Handling Rejection
Handling Rejection

We discuss handling rejection in gay relationships

women

Abuse in a Lesbian Relationship
Abuse in a Lesbian Relationship

A lesbian domestic abuse victim speaks out on her experiences

Understanding Your Trans Mate
Understanding Your Trans Mate

A reader speaks out on mutual respect between trans and other queer folk

Lesbians Do Love
Lesbians Do Love

Believe it or not heterosexuals, lesbians can and DO love

Money

On Changing Banks
On Changing Banks

Unhappy with your bank? Here's a few tips when moving to a new bank

Reducing Credit Card Debt
Reducing Credit Card Debt

Here's a few tips on how to reduce your credit card debts

Be Smart With Your Debit Card
Be Smart With Your Debit Card

Here's a few tips on how to use your debit card smartly

health & exercise

Fizzy Drinks And Aging
Fizzy Drinks And Aging

Scientists believe fizzy drinks may be the invisible culprit of a [ ... ]

Dagga Can Make You Stupid?
Dagga Can Make You Stupid?

Scientists found a link between cannabis use and reduced academic [ ... ]

Appeal for money to fight Ebola
Appeal for money to fight Ebola

The UN launched an emergency appeal for funds. China criticised f [ ... ]

cars

Land Rover enters the Space Race
Land Rover enters the Space Race

Land Rover has released exclusive details on what new astronauts can expect

2015 Polo Vivo Review
2015 Polo Vivo Review

We take a "drive" in the 2015 Volkswagen Polo Vivo

2015 Datsun Go Review
2015 Datsun Go Review

The Datsun brand is back in South Africa and we take a look at the new GO

food

About South African Fast Food
About South African Fast Food

We review a few of South Africa's favourite fast food chains

Why New Eating Places Fail
Why New Eating Places Fail

Why do so many Coffee shops and restaurants fail within six months

Irish beef stew
Irish beef stew

Hearty and wholesome, this stew is the ultimate taste of Ireland.

weekly newsletter

elsewhere on ql

Weekly Male Paolo Roldan
Weekly Male Paolo Roldan

Our male model of the week is sizzling Paolo Roldan

Elton John supports South African gays
Elton John supports South African gays

Sir Elton John donated millions to help fight HIV/AIDS among SA gays

About The Vatican Shuffle
About The Vatican Shuffle

A readers' opinion on the Vatican's Gay political dance routine

Opinion On Internalised Homophobia
Opinion On Internalised Homophobia

A reader discuss Internalised homophobia

Weekly Male Bart Gryzbowski
Weekly Male Bart Gryzbowski

Our hot male model of the week is Bart Gryzbowski

Vehicle pile-up could’ve been avoided
Vehicle pile-up could’ve been avoided

Manny de Freitas on why Alberton's vehicle pile-up could’ve been avoided