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Perfect Posteriors

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Those with a less gifted rear end have been using winter's extra clothing layers to cover their catastrophic caboose for far too long.

However, there is a general desire in the modern man for a more tog worthy tushie. A defined derriere is a wonder of modern architecture and a joy for both owner and observer.

Lucky you have your Queerlife, with some advice that will work wonders with your whoopee cakes.

A brief anatomy lesson: gluteus maximus is the large muscle in your nether regions; it provides the badonka in your badonka donk. It is an underdeveloped maximus that is responsible for a less than pert rear end. Gluteus medius is a set of smaller muscles that play a role in stabilising your hip and pelvis.

Part one of your seat working session should focus on cardio work, so get puffing. This will burn fat and tone muscles.

Most cardio choices involve working your keister as well as getting your heart rate elevated so there are plenty of options to choose from.

Outside exercisers could try running, walking up hills, and stair climbing. If you are a gym bunny you can jump on the stepper, elliptical trainer or crank up the incline on the treadmill. To prevent injuries and add to the butt blasting power of your cardio make sure you don't lead forward too far as this will stress out your knees, which you'll be needing later.

Part two of your heinie-hardening workout needs to involve resistance training, using your body or weights as resistance, it's these exercises that shape and add size of the right variety to your tooter.

The most simple and effective exercise for your lower body is the lunge; it targets all your nether regions and the back of your thighs. Place one foot forward, one foot back, lift up your back heel then lower and lift by bending at your knees. Keep your front knee behind your front toes.

When doing a lunge you need to make sure you feel it mostly in the back of your front leg. Adding weights and travelling your lunges will increase the intensity- more fun!

Squats are also perfect to work your patootie. Take your feet hip width apart and squat as if ‘sitting'. Make sure you keep your knees over or behind toes and push your moneymaker out the back. Don't drop your behind any lower than your knees to prevent injury. For extra intensity carry dumbbells.

Working out with your special friend? Try an assisted squat: Facing each other, take hold of each others hands and both squat down at the same time, with your weight pulling against each other.

HOLD! Enjoy!