Cobra Bites

About True Friendship

By Dr. Andrew Blade

I love friends; I love to be with them, I love to talk to them, I love to fight with them and I love to tease them; the ones that stayed after they realized what an asshole I am...they are the ones worth keeping. The ones that worship the ground I stand on are not real friends at all. A while ago I looked through my facebook friends and had to laugh........I met a few friends on facebook that might have been great if I met them somewhere else. There are a few of my mainly “facebook” friends that made it worth my while to join facebook...........I think I counted 7........not bad out of a list of 5000. I reckon facebook changed our views and definition of the word friendship forever. But what is friendship and how should we define friendship in our time?

“It's the friends you can call up at 4am that matter." - Marlene Dietrich

Marlene Dietrich might be right. The friends you can call at 4am are true friends indeed but I think I have a few friends that will kill me at 4am if I call them and I would not necessarily use that against them. A few of the friends that adore the ground I stand on would not mind if I call them that early, but I do not think it makes them real friends.

“My friends are my estate." - Emily Dickinson

If any friend of mine calls me one of his estates he could go to hell.

“A friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else." - Len Wein

I rather like Wein’s idea of friendship; in fact I think I am that kind of friend for my true friends. I will be there to help you when things go bad even though I would prefer it to only be there for the good times. I am also one of those friends that will tell you that I would rather be somewhere else. Let’s face it; there is no fun in attending the funeral of a friend’s mother, father, spouse or child; I will be there but forgive me...I will hate every moment...and yes I am the kind of friend that will tell you that. In all honesty I would prefer it if you tell me the same if the situation is reversed. I guess I like honest friends much more than sympathizing ones. It is just that I place a higher value on a friend that says what he thinks rather than on a friend that pretends to care when he does not give a fuck. I hate hypocrisy far more than bigotry; at least a bigot is true to himself.

“A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."

Thank God that most of my friends only sings when they are drunk and I do not even know the words to those songs.

"One's best friend is oneself."

Even I am not that negative and pessimistic but besides that.....I think I have better friends than I am.

“Friendship with oneself is all-important because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world." - Eleanor Roosevelt

And although the previous quote was absolute bullshit I agree with Teddies dear wife. If you can’t live with yourself nobody else would want to.

So much for quotes, wise cracks and bold ideas; I do not think they help us at all. I still think friendship is one of the best things we have but defining it is just as impossible as defining a person’s personality. I really have many friends and I do not think that one single friendship is exactly like another. Maybe Oscar Wilde said it best when he said that a friend is someone that stabs you in the front. A friend is at least honest about it; which brings me back to honesty as the mark of true friendship.

I have one or two good friends that know they do not have to agree with me on every occasion. Even better: they do not expect me to always agree with them. I tell you that my best friends are total assholes that will hit me between the eyes if they thought I needed it. Those are the friends you keep for life because they truly have your best interest at heart. They would kill you if they thought it would help. Boy......I wish I had more of those.

Lastly there is a quote from Stephen King’s short story “The body” that I once read and it sort of stuck to me:

“I never had friends like the ones I had when I was 13; Jesus,.............. does anybody?”

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