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When I came out to my mom, she sort of “lost it”. And, contrary to the wise and calm predictions of so many of my friends, she has never actually “found it”. My mom is not ok with her daughter being gay and she probably never will be.

That’s not to say things haven’t improved. It helps immensely that my parents quite like the woman I married, and they do treat her like one of the family.

However, when we stay with them, we are offered the room with two twin beds. I will admit this is an improvement over before we were married (although I’m not sure that had anything to do with it) when we were offered two separate rooms. It’s my parents’ house, and I, although family, am a guest there. Specifying sleeping arrangements is entirely their right.

So, on the rare holiday that does not include a trip to the parents, the last thing I’m going to risk is dodgey sleeping arrangements.

Every year, there’s a story about some ridiculous bed & breakfast owner refusing business that might offend them. And we’re not just talking about the gays. Unmarried straight couples sometimes get turned away as well. It is, however, harder for a gay or lesbian couple to pretend to be married.

Most recently of course, there is the case in the UK of a middle-aged couple who were turned away from the Swiss B&B by a its religious owners who apparently believe gay couples should mention that they are gay when making reservations, so they can be told to get lost ahead of time.

Quite frankly, if you have issues with people doing things in your home (non-criminal things) in the privacy of a room they have paid for, you have no business operating public accommodations of any kind: hotel, bed & breakfast or otherwise.

But the reality is, plenty of people continue to discriminate against others when it comes to accommodation in particular. I’m sure this has something to do with with the perception that unmarried couples and gays alike are compulsively hyper-sexual, taking every opportunity, private or otherwise, to do unthinkable things to each other. These business people don’t seem put off by what straight married couples might get up to in their rooms. As a married person, I can exclusively reveal that it doesn’t actually change.

That said, I never stay in B&Bs, and it’s because of all these stories, which I’m sure represent the minority of B&B owners. Still, why would I risk it? Unless a B&B states specifically that they are gay friendly, I opt for the nearest large hotel with charmingly disinterested staff.

What about you?